It helps to look at what we bring into our relationships.
1. An inheritance
• valued objects and qualities such as cultural traditions that have been passed down from previous generations
• denoting a traditional brand or product
2. A special or individual possession
Like traditions or possessions, messages are also “handed down” to us from previous relationships and generations. Those messages are like lessons – they are the things we learn about ourselves and others, and they affect how we show up in our relationships.
These inheritances of beliefs of how we, and our friends, family, and partners should be may not align with how things actually are. And yet, we often hold on to our beliefs as if they were immutable truths.
It’s when these thoughts become inflexible that we get stuck in unhelpful intra-(within) and inter-(between) personal patterns of conflict, disengagement, dissatisfaction, distress, and pain.
At Heritage, I help you identify and untangle those painful patterns that are keeping you stuck. I help you challenge the unhelpful and distressing beliefs that keep you in conflict with yourself or your partner.
Together, we sort through the meanings and values you’ve assigned to – knowingly or not – your patterns and beliefs. Then, using your gifts and your strengths, we redesign and reconstruct using new tools, new voices, new messages, new patterns. We create new intra- and inter-personal space for hope, contentment, peace, and joy.
My Mission with You
helping you find peace within and between
When you come to Heritage, you will not be seen as a broken person who needs to be “fixed.” We all simply do not have strengths in every area of life and relationships. You are valued as a human being who is in need of additional emotional support in your relationship with yourself and / or your partner.
These values guide our time together. And all are welcome here.
I’m grateful for each interaction, knowing that those who are sharing parts of themselves with me, are doing so sometimes at the risk of their fear, pain, hurt, or embarrassment. I’m thankful for each opportunity to co-create (yes, it takes each of us) a space that may allow for relief, healing, curiosity, reflection, and new ways of interacting with self and others.
The best parts of life are about forming connections and building and maintaining relationships. Connections to self and others make us whole, round us out, add value and perspective to how we see and “do” the world. I anticipate and value the relationship you and I will or do have in our time together. I believe in the power of our connection, that it will help us each learn and grow and, therefore, foster improved relationships in our respective circles of connection.
We don’t get through this wild ride of life alone! We are stronger together. We thrive when we can identify and be in our communities, where we belong, where we are accepted. I believe in the creation of positive energy between us and others in our lives and in being a cooperative, responsive, and responsible participant in our countless local and global communities.
For me, each opportunity to meet with a client is a privilege. In that privilege, I invite curiosity and the withholding of judgement. In the space we create and share in our time together, I encourage respecting, accepting, valuing, and honoring self and others. I invite you to take that energy with you as you leave our space.
The Heritage of My Name
JoEllen = Jo + Ellen
I was named after two of my great-grandmothers. My mom’s mom’s mom (maternal great-) was Gladys Jo (interestingly, she was later Josephine and previously Susan Jane). My dad’s dad’s mom (paternal great-) was Ellen. Most people don’t say my name correctly the first time (I often hear “Joleen”), and I’ve even been called “Mary Beth” (more than thrice!), for example. And I have to tell most people that it’s “one name, capital E, no space.”
It’s quite thoughtful and lovely that my parents put together their grandmothers’ names to make my first name. I haven’t always believed that I fit the shoes of a JoEllen – I believe it sounds more refined and polished than I see myself most of the time – but I do love knowing the story of this inheritance. I had the privilege of having spent time with each of these sweet great-grandmothers when I was very young. I have memories and photos of me with them. In my name, I can’t not carry them with me . . . and this is part of my heritage.
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445 Minnesota Street, Suite 1500, St. Paul, MN 55101
The information contained in this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any individual or relationship. It is also not intended to suggest a relationship with the therapist.
Heritage Counseling Services therapist, JoEllen Lange, MA, LAMFT, is a relationship psychotherapist working toward full licensure under the supervision of Minnesota Board-approved licensed therapists.
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